I can tell you were listening...

I really don't like people who aren't paying attention when you are talking to them--especially when they started the conversation. If you ask me a question, at least focus long enough to get the answer. For example, a friend of mine invites me to a party, and wants us to afterwards get drunk and discuss Asian philosophy. It's not the best idea I've ever heard, but she's a new friend so I think "Okay, whatever". I tell her "Look, I don't like to get drunk around ppl I don't know (in case I make an ass of myself), and I don't get drunk around ppl I'm unsure of how they behave when they're drunk." That's how you end up getting pushed down a flight of stairs by your drunk "buddies", end up in the hospital in a coma, and die three days later. I'm not willing to take that chance. My friend was looking at me the whole time--there was direct eye contact--but when I show up at her place, there are ppl I don't know. Which is fine, it's a party, you meet new ppl and make new friends, but then she's pouring shots and aks me "So are you ready to get drunk and talk philosophy?" I was irritated because (a) there were kids present and ppl are already getting loud and stupid, and (b) she either didn't hear me in our previous conversation OR didn't believe me. Maybe it's ridiculous of me to have rules for when I drink, but it's rude to completely dismiss someone else's rules. You don't agree? Fine, but don't pretend like you didn't hear them. So yeah, that's my issue for this weekend. Sorry for the bitchiness.

note on Devolution...

This is going to be a story about a student (yes, it's me), who starts law school, goes through the law student experience, grows incredibly cynical about the legal profession, tries to stand up for the little guys, gets smacked down, starts organizing a group of legal scholars (equally jaded with the profession) to strategize how the people can take back the country through litigation, leads the good guys in the trial of the century, loses the case, appeals the case, and Finally wins in the Supreme Court.

Thirty years later, the political climate shifts and the case is overturned. She moves to France, calls herself an "expat", tastes every wine vintage ever created, and gets inspired by writings of other "expats". She begins the post-post-postmodernist movement with her daring and brilliant legal brief written entirely in white crayon on white paper. She takes her post-post-postmodernist (p.p.postmodern for short) movement to Central America. While in Mexico, she meets a tribe of indigenous people. She learns of their hardships and invites them to join her movement. They rent a Winnebago and travel south over the Panama canal, through Brazil, Bolivia, and Peru. The indigenous populations of all of these countries along with the indigenous people in the United States have all joined the pppostmodern.

After the pppostmodern manifesto is published (in white crayon, on white paper), Catalans, Basques, Cubans, and Chechens have all joined pppostmodern. Next she plans a mission to free all the wrongfully imprisoned women in Thailand. The Basques were nice enough to fund the mission. The mission was successful, but the pppostmoderns had inadvertently pissed off the United States. Wal-Mart had hundreds of sweat shops in Thailand entirely run by wrongfully imprisoned women. Now that the women were free, Wal-Mart could not keep rolling back prices. Because of Wal-Mart's generous campaign contributions to the President and 2/3rds of Congress, the United States has declared war on pppostmodern. The war-cry: "Putting Wal-Mart out of business is putting freedom out of business!". The President, Mary-Kate Olson gives a speech explaining how the pppostmoderns hate freedom.

Unfortunately, our heroin dies in battle. The pppostmodern movement has ended and the followers have disbanded or been killed. All is not lost. Future generations wear t-shirts with the heroins picture on the front, depicting her wearing a beret and looking to the horizon. Of course, they all bought their t-shirts at Wal-Mart and have no idea who the woman is on the front.

3 things...

First,
I have noticed a theme from the blogage. I propose I change the name of the blog to Quarter-Life Crisis.

All those in favor... tell me you are in favor

Second,
Shannon, your sister has not joined us on the blog. Where is she?


Third,
I didn't give Shaun an introduction. Introducing Shaun... I first met Shaun in Monterey, California while he was sitting in the passenger seat of a stolen rental car. To Shaun's credit I don't think he knew the driver wasn't planning on returning the car.

We didn't become close until we were put on the same van driving job. Three days a week, at 4:00am we would put on our military uniforms and walk over to CQ to see if we had to drive anyone anywhere. That was our job! I miss those days. Anyways, Shaun is so much fun. He is so hip and in the know with whatever is going on that is worth knowing about. He is really artistic and I have seen him create some pretty awesome things. I have a painting of flowers he did for my apartment that he titled "Shit rolling downhill".

Shaun is the only guy I know who would find a chapel rope on the ground, pick it up, put it on, and then ask people waiting for the bus if they wanted to pray while trying to bless them.

He is a really gorgeous guy, and occasionally he thinks so too. When in doubt, he will drunk dial his mom and verify that he is better looking than his brother - which she will agree with.

I couldn't have made it in my first apartment in Texas without Shaun. I had no furniture, no food, no TV, and no cats. Shaun took one look in my place and went out to buy the essentials - gin and tonic.

If Shaun gives tells me something I am wearing looks good, he might as well have carved it into tablets and climbed a mountain. Shaun knows aesthetics, and if he says it is good, then it is good.

Every girl needs a Shaun.

Devolution… [Part I]

When I started law school in August, I was so impressed with the other students I met at orientation. They were so articulate and open minded. They were evolved, gracious, and classy; but, when the intensity of classes hit, I stopped being impressed and started getting competitive. The competition was do or die kind of stuff. I wanted to succeed, but I knew because of the grading curve (::::foreboding music playing in the background::::) my success would mean another’s failure - so I quietly (and sometimes loudly), wished for my colleagues to go down in flames.

Sometimes I felt as though I understood the material, sometimes I felt as though the law school had sent me an acceptance letter by mistake. The classes were boring. The only interesting part of the reading was the case facts, which we really didn’t need to know. A few times the class discussions showed promise. These rare instances usually went like this: STUDENT asks interesting question.
PROFESSOR decides because the question is interesting, it couldn't possibly be related to the class.
Next, the PROFESSOR does one of three things:

1. asks the student a question unrelated to her question,
2. starts talking and uses words from the students question without actually answering the question,
3. or says “we will get to that later in the course, it is important you don’t learn the material out of order”.
   Then HEATHER says “NO, YOU’RE OUT OF ORDER!!”, followed immediately by “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!”

Final Exam time seemed to show up just days after I started school. There was so much to study and so little time. The only way to survive was to crawl into my tunnel of work, to the detriment of everything else in my life, and hope to come out on other end with high marks and a sense of accomplishment.

Exam 1 (Contracts) – 10 hours of sleep, healthy breakfast, understood everything on the test. Awesome! I felt great. I was in the home stretch [I got a bad grade].

Exam 2 (Criminal Law) – I have almost no memory of this exam, which I suspect is because it was not so much a law school exam as a full frontal lobotomy.

Exam 3 (Torts) – ok, everything was under control, Torts was all me. It was my favorite subject. For all you non-law people Torts Law is another way to say 'I am learning to chase an ambulance'.

Exam 4 (Civil Procedure) – My insomnia had slowly been getting worse, so the night before the exam I took some sleeping medication. At 2am, I was still wide awake so I took 2 more sleeping pills (usually half of a pill would have sufficed). At 6am I gave up on ever getting any sleep. I chugged 3 red bulls and went into the test. Everything I looked at had fog around it (probably from not removing my contacts for a month). As the test started, my thoughts once again were centered on everything riding on the outcome. One test was going to determine my entire grade. First year grades are the most important. I have heard of people being denied partner in law firms because they got a C in Civil Procedure 25 years ago. The next thought that hit me was… “What is Civil Procedure?” I then realized that I had no answer for that question, I had no idea what I was being tested on, I would never become a lawyer, and I had to believe that homeless people asking for change on the street corner really made over $50,000 a year like the woman on Dateline said. [I got a B ... must have been the red bull]

I'll clean my own teeth next time, thanks.

Today I had my annual dental exam, to include a cleaning. The initial exam was fine--the doctor even told me I had beautiful teeth--but the cleaning was not so fun.
First of all, when the assistant came in to clean my teeth, she put on all this gear. She had on a disposable gown (over her scrubs!), blue latex gloves (standard) and a full on beekeeper-esque hood. I've never had a cleaning that was so messy where all that is necessary, but I thought "Hey, whatever". Then she starts scraping my teeth, which was fine until she would get along the gum line. I started to feel pain, but nothing severe so I just let her scrape on. Well, she got to a point where she needed the other end of the pick she was using, so she turns it around ands begins digging into my gum with that end. At this point, I can clearly see the end she was originally using, and there is blood hanging off it. And not just a little blood, it looked like she had taken some of the gum tissue off with it. I was a little upset, but didn't really want to start something with a woman who has a sharp object in my mouth. After she polished my teeth and had me rinse, the pain was pretty much gone. Still, that image of...enough of that.
I don't mind going to the dentist; I take care of my teeth, and appreciate those who are making sure I take care of them. But seriously, how can you have something like the bloody end of a pick, visible to the person who's mouth you're jabbing around in.
So yeah, TGIF.

It's snowing in Hampton Roads.

Does anyone know anything about the Warrant Officer to Pilot program? It seems like a great opportunity but I am searching for the cons before I recommend it to hubby.

I feel like my posts have been very dry. Maybe I'm just boring. hmm?

Has anyone seen the Metrosexual episode of South Park?

*end questioning session*

Big ears!

For those of you who know me, I've been joking about being old forever. Newsflash people!!! I'm now old. I've hit the proverbial brick wall and now it's here. Middle age. You might ask, how do you know this is happening now. You're only 29. Let me tell you. As soon as I hit the big 29, my metabolism shut down. It didn't take a little break, a short vacation, or even a hiatus. It flat out quit. Which all in all isn't a huge deal. Being 10 ten pounds heavier doesn't bother me so much, especially since I'm not trying to impress anyone. I've got some expensive stretch jeans, so I'm fine with that. But, what really gets me are my ears. I've always heard how your ears and nose grow as you get older. The nose and ears are all cartilage, which continuously grows as you get older. I thought I had until at least 50 before I noticed any changes. Oh no!!! Recently I took a family photo and all I could see were my ears. Granted, I have small ears to begin with. But, if they're already growing how long do I have. I never liked the Dumbo movies, and my nose is already huge. So, just wanted to send out the newsflash. Love me for me, and please excuse my growing ears and my soon to be bigger nose.

Cynicism be damned...

Sorry for the whining earlier. I am feeling much better.

So I had transnational law class yesterday. It was pretty awesome as usual. I like that class. We were discussing a case in which 4 nonimmigrants (people here on temporary visas) were suing to be able to take the bar exam in Louisiana. The court said they couldn't do it because only citizens and permanent residents could take the bar. I can look at the decision and say ok i can agree. But I can't agree with some of the crap they said in support.

The judges said that citizens pay taxes and serve in the military, vote, etc. And that nonimmigrants don't contribute to the country the same way. I have a problem with that reasoning. Immigrants do pay taxes (even illegals) and they do serve in the military. In addition, there are many citizens who don't pay taxes, don't ever join the military, and they don't vote. What does it mean to be a citizen? I think the court is defining citizen incorrectly.

All of the stuff I said above is of course irrelevant to what the people are suing for. They want to be able to practice law. When did practicing law ever have anything to do with citizenship.

Thoughts? Comments?

_______________________________________________________

Ok, one more thing I was thinkin'...

We have a limited supply of natural resources as you all had mentioned in an earlier blog. While drinking my third diet coke of the day, this thought occurred to me. I could power a car with my diet coke byproduct. I drink gallons and gallons of diet coke within any given week. Diet coke contains aspartame which when metabolises in your body produces methanol (among other things). Cars could run on methane. The reason it should come from diet coke is because people chug soda all the time. The other ways to make methanol are destroying forests or using natural fossil fuels (that would defeat the purpose).

So in researching my genius idea, I found out that part of the clean air program in several cities required gas companies to add methane to their gas to make it cleaner. Unfortunately methane is very corrosive and there were leaks in many cars. So much methanol leaked out and was absorbed into the ground affecting the cities' drinking water. Wow I wonder what this stuff is doing to my body if it can tear through metal. So much for good ideas...

I still think this could work. They should make gas tanks out of stronger material

Thoughts? Comments?

Whine

Hi y'all. I am feeling soo crappy. I think i am getting sick. I am going to drink airborne. This has been one bad start to the semester. I am soo busy. I have no idea what is going on in all of my classes but one. I understand one at least. Everyone keeps saying how they don't have much work, whatever. I think they are full of it. And I have to do the work because otherwise I could be publicly humiliated in class.

I am seriously having a quarter-life crisis. Ugh! What to do. I guess I am going to bed.

I know, I bet this is because I drank on Sunday. I hardly ever drink b/c of my medicine and if I do drink it always takes me a few days to get back to my equilibrium. Maybe... I think that's it...

I wish Penelope was here to give me a back massage...

Wah :(

I'm Moving To Canada

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2322508342721150989&q=Dear+Mr.+President%2C&hl=en

I was struggling about what to write for my first post. I didn't know if I had to impress anyone with my sarcastic jokes or witty humor. I was wondering what was appropriate for this kind of media. Do I first introduce myself? Do I start with a pun and and work my way from there? There's so much from work and life I could joke about, complain about, make light of. After much thought and consideration I decided to go with my gut and the glass of wine in my right hand. There's been so much political jargon and propaganda slinging around for not only the past few weeks, but years. I'm tired of feeling stuck! Does anyone remember the 90's? Things happened, but at least it felt like we were going somewhere. It troubles my spirit to think about how much the rest of the world is evolving and we're all sitting on our couches arguing about evolution and intelligent design. It disgusts me how Viagra is more important than a drug that prolongs the life of an innocent person dying of AIDS. Then I heard this song. I posted the link above. I still can't believe it's Pink. It's almost as if she wrote the song from thousands of diary entries from people from every part of the country. Unfortunately I'm in a precarious situation where I can't always vocalize my opposition to societies prejudice and this administration's total lack and regard for human rights, so I'm hoping to get a little satisfaction from this blog. I ask you all to bear with me and give me a little latitude. I may not always be the sunshine you're looking for after a hard day at work or a grueling afternoon of classes, but I'm true to myself and those who care for me. But I have been selfish! I never thought about anything that wasn't affecting me at that very moment. That's so many of our problems. But once we all start to love someone else besides ourselves we began to realize that we're not all that matters. Many of us focus on what's at hand, not what we have to look forward to 5, 10, 20 years from now. I was guilty of this! I'm by no means a senior citizen, but I am getting older. I can't believe I'm 29 and all that goes through my head is what's holding me back. Then I think about the laws that are in place that keep me down. I can't marry, adopt in most states, share benefits with my partner. It's funny how these thing come out of no where and knock you upside the head. At the same time I kick myself in the ass for giving so much to a country that tells me I can't have what most people consider an inherent right. I pray everyday, to whom ever is in charge of this universe, to let us all stop defining love, society, right, wrong, good, and bad from a book that is full of 500 year old men and a small sailboat full of every species of animal on earth. Yes, I think fighting terrorism is a noble cause, and yes, I would love for America to be safe and secure, but dividing this countries citizens against each other is not going to achieve that goal. If we're good enough to do your hair and plan your wedding, we're good enough to have our own. I promise next time I'll be a little more cherry.

Homework is hazardous to your health.

I'm sitting here doing homework and my brain is about to explode. No kidding, I feel it. Up until this week, my homework assignments have been so easy. I put them off until the day they are due then BS through them. It's been working. Until today. I don't know what my teacher was thinking, or if she was thinking at all, but I just can't figure out what the heck these people are talking about in my book. Who invented accounting anyway? Can't we just add like normal people? Why a whole other language just to say "I have 10 dollars in my pocket?"

Whatever. I have to get back to it or it's going to be late. Just needed to vent.

My next vent will probably be about weather. Or about my growing waist size. It's all Lay's fault.

Hi Shaun...

I forgot that I needed to send you an invitation in order for you to become an author. And I just sent out the invitation. So you should do whatever the invitation says in the email. I think you will have to make a blog account - pretty painless- and then you can post anything your heart desires.

Let me know if it doesn't work...

-Heather

A new week, a new perspective...

This week was very trying for me. I started classes and started back into the law school routine. This means less free time. Saying goodbye to lots of things I had time to do over the break. Now I need to fill my time with studying and the law.

After my writing professor told me in no uncertain terms that I was by far the worst in the class (I cried lots), I have a renewed commitment to do well this semester, especially with my legal writing. Goodbye hours in front of the TV, goodbye...wait what else did I do with my time?

I was in the library today (yes, on a Saturday) and I got tons of books on legal writing. I have been through two chapters on legal analysis so far and I think I'm getting it. The more work I realize I could be doing for school, the smaller my world seems to get. This perception slowly increases as the semester moves on until finals when I exist in a vacuum, a tunnel of study and insomnia.

Now that I have accepted my fate, I think I will read my John Grisham book (which I have limited myself to 10 pages a night) and get some sleep.

Introducing Kasie...

Hello everyone!

Kasie is my good friend from San Diego, California. She lives in Virginia now because her husband is in the Navy. We were roommates in California also.

I knew Kasie for a long time but we didn't become close until a group of us went on a trip to Sacramento for a weekend. We bonded and we have been friends every since. She is so cool! And, she is very funny. She was learning Chinese in California. She and I worked the charge of quarters or CQ job for about 4 months.

She is also really beautiful, but I don't think she knows it. I think she looks a lot like a younger Lisa Marie Presley.

Most days, this life is pretty cool

So okay here's my update. After I last saw everyone, I drove to VA, Zeke came home from his world tour and we (Heather and I) spent New Years in Richmond (2005 to 2006). Since then, I finally got my braces on in May. I don't remember if anyone heard me talking about using my bonus to get them? Well since THAT never happened, I had to find another way and here I am. Braces totally suck - especially when getting head butted in the mouth by a four year old. *rant rant*

We bought a house in September about a block from the James River. Very nice and breezy. I love the warm sunny days when I can open the windows and let the curtains blow in the breeze. Sitting on the couch, sipping tea and listening to the neighbors mow their lawns. Nice change from the sound of traffic.

Something I'm proud of, I've been working at the same place for a year on Feb 8. Besides the almost-2-years in Monterey, this is the longest I've held a job. I usually end up quitting cause I can't handle the stress of trying to please everyone; customers, boss, coworkers. But I get to call my coworkers "hooker" and "bitch" on a daily basis. I secretly think that's why I stay where I am. No one really takes me serious so I'm a b---- all day without guilt. *cheer*

I had surgery in December to remove uterine tissue from... all over. Too long to explain but my back pain is finally giving me a break.

The rest of my days have been spent in a repeat cycle of eat, sleep, sh't, play, wander. And occasional drinking. Zeke and I figured out that it's more fun to get drunk and pass out at our own house instead of trying to drive home from somewhere else. We have a beer fridge.

I think I'm done updating. What's up with everyone else?

Introducing Cerca Trova...

This is Shannon. She is my buddy. We served in the Air Force together and we went to the Defense Language Institute at the same time. She was a terrific roommate also. She is a Korean linguist and lives in Japan right now. And she has the best laugh. It is like half giggle, half laugh. Oh, we were stationed at Goodfellow Air Force Base together in Texas also (It was the armpit of America, but smelled like the ass of America). Shannon, if I am telling too much of your business just tell me and I'll edit this post.

I have been told I suck because I don't give enough introductions to my characters. I am practicing.

Oh, one more thing, I used to have guard duty right after Shannon in California. People would always think we were the same person because I guess we look alike. So every time I had dorm guard duty people would say "What did you do to get so much extra guard duty?". It took me a while before I figured out they thought I was Shannon, or Shannon was me.

Now, Kasie needs to put up a post so I can introduce her. :)

So Shannon... What does cerca trova mean?

Tylenol PM

I haven't slept much in the past three days; I think maybe I've had a total of five hrs sleep. Anyway, I'm a little delirious right now, my eyes feel like I've been wearing my contacts with sand in them, and even half a bottle of Tylenol PM (not all in one dose) isn't doing the job. I even tried listening to a Korean broadcast, no luck there. My grandmother is like "Drink some hot milk", but I hate hot milk. I tried reading (and just finished the book), I tried watching something boring on TV, tried boring pod casts, tried classical music, tried just silence--nothing is working so far. All I can do is lie awake and think about how I can smell the dry cat food or some other random crap. What I need is a switch to turn my brain off for a few hours, and then I can sleep. God, I hate jet lag.

Why Scooby Gang?

I chose the title Scooby Gang because that's what the friends on Buffy the Vampire Slayer call themselves. They get it from the Scooby Doo cartoon. I also call it the Scooby Gang because I have invited my friends to put their own posts on my blog. I have called them my Scooby Gang for years... (although not to their face)

So friends, please feel free to put whatever random thought that occurs to you on my blog. Or you can just say hi to me or anyone.

Foxy...

I am reading a case for Property class about a fox. A freakin' fox! Guy A is suing Guy B because Guy A was hunting a fox and before he could catch the fox, Guy B kills fox and takes him home. Crazy people! First, Guy A is crazy for suing over the dumb fox. Second, the court is nuts for not throwing the case out of court. Third, the authors are crazy for putting the case in the casebook.

But, on second thought, some rude person stole my parking place today. He totally knew I was waiting for it. I was there first, hunting for the parking place. I think I will sue...

Charade...

I'm watching "Charade". The movie from 1963 with Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant. It is a terrific film! I highly recommend it. Do Not watch the remake The Truth About Charlie from a couple of years ago. It is a shameless rip off. Whoever thought of remakes? Total crap on film. It is like buying a coke and then after taking a sip you realize it is actually RC cola -blech

Those evil corporations...

Why evil? Because of their billions of dollars of advertising that got me to start smoking. And now, ten years later, I am still a smoker. **!%. I don't want to be a smoker. It is soooo difficult. Of course, I am just doing the cliche new year's resolution crap. I tried to quit. My last cigarette was at 1:00pm when I got off the plane at LaGuardia. After my 5 hour flight from Texas, I needed one. I am trying hard to resist. Resist. Stop being so weak. Do you really want to let an addicition control you? Yes, yes I do. I am going to buy cigarettes...

NOO. How long has it been? 6 hours. Wow, that is not long at all. I AM weak. It is all the corporations fault. UGh. My fingernails are almost non-existant from all my chewing. This is silly.

Ok. I give up. I am weak